Sunday 29 July 2012

Review: Rose White (Video 2012)

First I´d like to thank Deneen Melody for providing me with a screener.
Through Lilly's (Deneen Melody) eyes, the world is a dark but beautiful place, where she and her sister, Rosalyn (Erin Breen), live happily in the heart of a deep forest. In reality, however, each day is a battle for Rosalyn, who has been forced to take up prostitution in order to provide for herself and her delusional sister and simply pay the rent for their inner-city, tenement apartment. An odd twist of fate brings an unlikely ally into their lives, in the form of a local drug addict. Together, they form a plot against a vicious crime boss; a plan that will either lead to their salvation or their doom. Rose White is written by Deneen Melody and Dan Kuhlman, it´s directed by Dan Kuhlman and Brian Kilborn. Strong cast with some excellent perfomances especially from Deneen Melody and Erin Breen. Professionally shot and edited, it looks very nice on the screen. It oozes atmosphere and some scenes are quite painful to watch. There is brief gore in it, it´s good looking practical make-up fx. No T & A in this.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected screener supplied by Deneen Melody.
Rating: 7 out of 7. As I´ve said again and again, good things comes in small packages. Rose White is a well made adult fairy tale/dark fantasy in the short film format with high production values. It´s a sad and beautiful flick.Very nice and highly recommended! The film is currently on the festival circuits so make sure to check it out.


DVD review: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (Video 2012)

While the Civil War rages on, President Abraham Lincoln (Bill Oberst Jr.) must undertake an even more daunting task! Destroying the Confederate Undead. Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is written and directed by Richard Schenkman. The acting is mostly decent but Bill Oberst Jr. rocks! He´s very good, both in the action and the more dramatic scenes. The production values are pretty good, the camera work is pretty good  but there are some weird editing, especially a fight-scene that ends somewhat abruptly. Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies isn´t scary but it´s a enjoyable and fun ride as it´s keeps going at a brisk pace. It´s gory but it´s almost exclusively computer gendered gore as zombies get shot, cut, chopped and so on. The zombie make-up fx design is pretty bad, not much decay but I think they are supposed to be recently deceased. In my opinion it would have been MUCH cooler if we´ve seen the dead from the war coming back.. I also want to point out that some of the fake beards and mustaches are laughable bad. No T & A in this.
This review is based upon the Region 1 DVD release from The Asylum Home Entertainment.
Rating: 3½ out of 7. Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies has some flaws but it´s both funny and entertaining so shut your brain off for a moment and give it a chance.


DVD review: Necropolis (1987)

The streets of New York are nothing like Eva (LeAnne Baker) remembers them. In those good old days witches like Eva were roasted at the stake, but that was 300 years ago! If it wasn´t for her indestructible magic ring, she would never have  been reincarnated to her new life as a leather-clad, motorcycle-riding punkette. Necropolis is written and directed by Bruce Hickey. One thing the text on the cover fails to mention is that the 300 years old witch is looking for a virgin to sacrifice in order to keep her youth. The acting is poor, the camerawork and editing is okay I guess... There are two cheezy dance-scenes, the first at least makes some sense as it´s part of a ritual but the other is just awkward.. Even if it only has a running time of 77 minutes Necropolis is still pretty boring. There is only brief gore in this, it´s all practical make-up fx. In the T & A department there is some topless nudity provided by LeAnne Baker, in a two scenes she even sports 3 pairs of breasts, yeah you have to see it to believe it!
This review is based upon the Region 0 DVD release from Full Moon Features.

Rating: 1½ out of 7. It´s mediocre and I think most viewers will probably find it to be painful experience to sit through but I find it quite charming.


DVD review: Zombie Apocalypse (2011)

Months after a zombie plague has wiped out 90 percent of the American population, a small group of survivors fight their way cross-country to a rumored refuge on the island of Catalina. Zombie Apocalypse is written by Brooks Peck and Craig Engler and is directed by Nick Lyon. The acting is decent, the high point being Ving Rhames as Big-guy Henry who carries a big old sledgehammer to bash in the skulls of zombies while Taryn Manning is the low point as she is utterly terrible. The cinematography is pretty nice, the apocalyptic LA landscape is done fairly well, the editing is good and the pacing is acceptable. There is a lot of gore (a lot of zombies being killed by arrows, by gunshots, by sword, by baseball bat and sledgehammer) but it´s mostly computer gendered splatter and lacks any real impact and the zombies make-up is just awful. No T & A in this.
This review is based on the region 1 DVD release from The Asylum Home Entertainment.
Rating: 2½ out of 7. Zombie Apocalypse is decent if you take it for what it is. It would have been better if there would have been more practical make-up fx and gore and some changes in the cast.


Saturday 28 July 2012

DVD review: Fear of Clowns (Video 2004)

One woman´s mst terrifying nightmare becomes reality when the paintings she makes of bloodthirsty clowns begin to manifest themeselevs as reality. Convinced she is imagining the terror, Lynn Blodgett (Jacqueline Reres) continues to paint, and tries to overcome her desperate fear of clowns. But when a clown identical to the one in her painting begins to stalk her, killing off those around her, Lynn is forced to confront it dead-on - or succumb completely. Fear of Clowns is written and directed by Kevin Kangas. The actors are decent with one or two exceptions. Professional camera work and editing, the soundtrack is very good and helps to create a good atmosphere. "Shivers the clown" (Mark Lassise) is a creepy character and he looks fantastic..It´s a suspenseful, sometimes creepy movie that slowly gains momentum. Some viewers might be put off by the fact that it´s pretty slow moving at the beginning. There is gore but it wasn´t as graphic/explicit as I expected, some on screen carnage but most of the kills occur off screen so gorehounds will be disapointed. The practical make-up fx are decent. There is brief T & A in this.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Rating: 6½ out of 7. I enjoyed this very much! Clowns are pretty damn creepy, everyone knows that.  Fear of Clowns is very entertaining and worth your time and money so check it out. You won't be disappointed. I will be checking out more flicks directed by Kevin Kangas in the near future.


DVD review: The Dead Don't Scream (2007)

A group of college students is on a road trip to hell. When they stumble upon a small Texas town with an entire economy based upon stealing cars, it is unfortunate for them that cars aren´t the only things getting chopped. Will anyone survive or will they all succumb to the fate that is passed on to them? The Dead Don't Scream is written and directed by Richard C. Perrin. This flick is a mess featuring horrible and in some cases even abysmal acting. Much of the dialogue is just annoying. The camerawork and editing is decent. The soundtrack is bad... Add to this that it isn´t even remotely scary and actually is just plain boring. Most of the gore is amateurish, but there is one or two exceptions that actually looks pretty good, and some of the killings occur off screen. In the T & A department there are a couple of scenes of topless nudity.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Celebrity Video Distribution.
Rating: 0 out of 7. The Dead Don't Scream was a painful experience but somehow I made it through the whole flick. I can´t find a single  redeeming thing to mention about this flick. This is possibly one of the worst movies I´ve ever seen... It's not worth your money or your time.


DVD review: Eyes of the Werewolf (Video 1999)

A laboratory accident leaves Rich (Mark Sawyer) blind at the mercy of an unscrupulous surgeon who performs an accidental eye transplant. Unknown to everyone , including the doctor´s band of organ-snatching murderers, the eyes were pulled from the sockets of a werewolf. All hell breaks loose when Rich, with the help of his nurse Sondra (Stephanie Beaton), a midget psychic/occult expert Andros (Kurt Levi) and lesbian detective Justine Evers (Tarri Markel). tries to extract revenge during the next full moon. Eyes of the Werewolf is written and directed by Tim Sullivan and my favorite Jeff Leroy have credits for Special Effects & editing but he is listed as co-director at IMDb. The acting is hilariously bad and i´t quickly becomes apparent what Stephanie Beaton´s biggest assets are, her body and a pair of large breast which she gets to show of in detail during two very long sexscenes. The camerawork is bad for the most part and the editing is decent.  I find it quite funny that they use a bad painting of a moon instead of actually filming the moon. All scenes that takes place during the night is obviously shot in daylight. There is gore, practical make-up fx and it´s fairly well done. I love that the werewolf is done by a man in a costume, but I´m pretty sure that many viewers will find it cheesy looking but I love it. The transformation scenes are however pretty bad. In the T & A department there is plenty female topless nudity and two prolonged softcore sexscenes that are used to padd out the running time. Too bad that they are so unconvincing...
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Razor Digital Entertainment. By the way that DVD cover might be one of the ugliest ever.....

Rating: 6 out of 7. Sure it has huge flaws but it has a certain charm that I like very much. It´s only 70 minutes long, we get a werewolf (yet again, I love the man in costume stuff), nudity, blood and gore and a pretty original plot.


Friday 27 July 2012

DVD review: Lucker the Necrophagous (1986)

John Lucker (Nick Van Suyt) is a deeply disturbed serial rapist and killer. Locked up in a clinic after committing eight murders (and keeping the bodies around for his own sexual pleasure after the people died!!!!), Lucker manages to escape and flees to the city.. searching for the one lone survivor of his previous killing spree. His dusgusting rampage continues and more peple die one by one. Lucker must find and kill the woman who escaped him the first time.. and no one will get in his way. Lucker the Necrophagous is written by John Kupferschmidt and Johan Vandewoestijne who also is the director. The acting is bad or perhaps one should call it minimalistic... The camerawork and editing is barely decent, the picture quality on the DVD is quite bad (dark, grainy) but that is due to the source material being used. Despite a pretty short running time I found the movie to be pretty boring and some scenes are overlong even though it has a nice dirty feeling. There is never any suspense .The soundtrack is pretty good. The gore make-up fx is mostly primitive but even so it´s quite effective in some scenes and this is one movie that possibly features some of the most drawn out and most anguishing deathscenes I´ve seen. In Lucker the Necrophagous death ain´t quick, glamourous or pretty. No T & A except some scenes being shown on a tv as Lucker is watching a porno but there is male full frontal nudity and there is necrophilic rape (there is a prolonged necrophilia-sequence that is truly grotesque!!).
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Synapse Films it comes with two versions of the film. One version is the original uncut version, the second version is a "director's cut" but is essentially the same film, same plot, but with some new snippets filmed and some editing. The review is based upon the "director's cut".
Rating: 2 out of 7. The production values are low, Lucker the Necrophagous is quite amateurish and poorly done. Add to this that it´s quite boring but it´s unapologetic, nasty, grotesque and disturbing.


DVD review: Shadow Fury (2001)

After discovering a way to control the minds of cloned humans, Dr. Oh (Pat Morita) is cast away from Nova Corporation and has his license revoked, Vowing revenge on his former business partners, Dr. Oh secretly creates "Takeru"(Masakatsu Funaki), the ultimate human weapon. As the establishment attempts to fight back, Takeru is unleashed with orders to kill! Shadow Fury is written by Eric Koyanagi and Makoto Yokoyama who also is the director. The acting is bad but Sam Bottoms is hilariously bad as Mitchell Madsen and provides a lt of unintentional comedy. Its professionally shot and edited, the pace is pretty slow... There is plenty of martial arts and the choreography is nice and includes the use of wirework.The evil Nova Corporation creates a new perfect killing machine, named Kismet. As a child it´s played by Taylor Lautner, as a teenager by John Stork and by Bas Rutten as adult (he´s a clone). There are some weird lapses in continuity, character has one gun, then another and then the same gun as before. Guess they´re switching between nonfiring replicas and a blankfiring replicas. It´s violent but here is no gore in this. Only brief nudity in this.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Lions Gate Home Entertainment.
Rating: 1½ out of 7. The fights is the only thing that made Shadow Fury worth watching, the fightchoreography is good and Taylor Lautner is without a doubt the highlight of the movie, too bad that he´s in it for only a few scenes but the fightscene with him against another clone is the best in the whole movie.


DVD review: Harvest of Fear (2004)

Medical intern Billy McKinley (Ryan Deal) arrives in the small town of Devil's Lake and finds himself thrust into the middle of a mystery as a string of unsolved murders start just as the annual Harvest Festival is about to begin. The murders happen to be similar to those of 20 years earlier. Has the original killer resurfaced or has a copycat come to take his place? Now, Billy must find a killer and save the town before it's too late. Harvest of Fear is written Chris Pfeifer and Ted Pfeifer and directed by Brad Goodman. The acting is pretty bad, the camerawork and editing is decent. The soundtrack is decent but why the hell play techno when you´re buidling up a scene when someone´s gonna get killed, it kills the atmosphere. Harvest of Fear barely managed to maintain my interest but it´s not in my nature to turn a movie off. Now you´re wondering if there is any gore, there is no gore in Harvest of Fear. There is only some brief, very brief blodshed but you´ll miss it if you blink and several of the kills do occur off screen. There is some T & A in the form of topless nudity.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from New Light Entertainment which is labeled as R-Rated.
Rating: 0½ out of 7. Harvest of Fear is lame, it´s bloodless, has no atmosphere, there is no suspense and it´s just plain boring.. This is one slasher to avoid. This could have all been a whole lot better if they had the balls to go all the way with the gore. The only redeeming factors that save this from lower grade is the attractive girls and the twist at the end. 


Thursday 26 July 2012

Review: Zombie A-Hole (2011)

First I´d like to thank Dustin Mills for providing me with a screener of his movie.
Zombies exist, and a whole underworld of nasty beings is hinted at. Need a little magick (that"s magic with a k) to help you out? No problem... stop over at Voodoo Bob's trailer and pick yourself up something nice. Shrunken heads? Hell... he's got a whole shrunken man. This is the story of a religious cowboy, a lost soul, and a beautiful grease monkey fixing to exact bloody vengeance on the same son-of-a-bitch. He's a low-down, dirty, disgusting, depraved, sadistic, psychotic, hell bent, grade F, Zombie A-Hole and he ain't gonna know what hit him! Zombie A-Hole is written, produced and directed by Dustin Mills. The acting is uneven it isn´t too bad. The camerawork and editing is okay but keep in mind that this was made on a very tight budget. The soundtrack is very good. It´s gory, much of it it is computer gendered and some of it are quite simple practical make-up-fx and feels a bit cartoonish but I think this is a intentional choice as well as due to the evidently very limited budget. I do like the design and look of the zombiefied Pollux and while the the resurrected skeletons are in tone with the cartoonish style they look very plastic and that´s probably due to the fact they are made of plastic...There is plenty of female T & A including full frontal nudity.
This review based upon a online screener provided by the director.
Rating: 4 out of 7. I enjoyed it, sure it has some flaws but take for what it is, a ride in a cartoonish magic world next to our boring reality and you´ll probably enjoy it also. 


DVD review: Street Trash (1987)

In the sleazy, foreboding world of winos, derelicts and drifters in lower Manhattan, two young runaways - Fred (Mike Lackey) and his younger brother, Kevin (Mark Sferrazza), live in a tire hut in the back of a vast auto wrecking yard. Life is hard for these two, but by far the most leathal threat to the boys is the case of Tenafly Viper in Ed´s liquor store window. Ed found the cheapo wine behind a wall in his basement. The stuff´s forty years old, and it´s gone bad... real bad! Anyone who drinks it melts within seconds! And it´s only a dollar a bottle!! The bums are lining up for their deaths like moths at a flame, and Fred is standing right there among them. Street Trash is written by Roy Frumkes and J. Michael Muro.The acting is decent but special praise goes to Vic Noto as Bronson, a crazy Vietnamveteran who is lord of the hobos and plauged by nightmares. Street Trash is a bizarre mix of horror and comedy and the comedic elements are often vulgar and not for the squemish. The camerawork and editing is good, I love that it seems frighteningly realistic as it´s shot on location at actual junkyards, construction sites, alleys, and street corners. There is a sub-plot that in my opinion is nastier and darker than the rest of the film, it about the girlfriend of a Italian restaurateur who goes off with Fred to the junk yard (she too drunk to have any idea who is carrying her or where she's going). And after she and Fred are finished having sex she is taken away and is raped to death by the other bums who live at the auto wrecking yard. It isn´t shown, you just see her being dragged away screaming and how her lifeless naked corpse is found the next day. It´s gory and over the top, the make up-fx which are all practical stuff is good but I have mixed feelings and keep wondering how cool it would have been if the filmmakers had gone with red blood in all the meltdown scenes and not the cartoonish pasty colors (bright blue, bright green, and bright yellow) that they use now... The is T & A, including both female and male full frontal nudity, sex, gang-rape and necrophilia.
This review is based upon the region1 DVD release from Synapse Films.
Rating: 6½ out of 7. Street Trash is totally unpredictable and that is why I like it.  Needless to say, this film is not for all tastes but it´s recommended for fans of splatter and those with a morbid sense of humor.


DVD review: Home Sick (2007)

With a briefcase full of razorblades, "Mr. Suitcase" (Bill Moseley) crashes a homecoming get-together for Claire (Lindley Evans) and forces the partygoers to identify people they hate. Soon, a black-hooded supernatural killer is loose killing each person identified by the teens. The terrified friends realize they may also be viciously murdered because Tim (Matt Lero) awkwardly joked that he hated everyone at the party, too! As the corpses pile up and the body parts fly, the kids enlist the help of a crazed chili loving militia man who can give them the weapons they need to stay alive! Home Sick is written by E.L. Katz and directed by Adam Wingard. The acting is pretty decent but special praise goes to Bill Moseley as "Mr. Suitcase" and Tom Towles as Uncle Johnny who both are great in this flick. It´s professionally shot and edited, the cinematography looks good. Some scenes are vcreepy, especially when "Mr Suitcase" crashes the party, there are some gory scenes that are not for the squemish and there are some really funny parts with Tom Towles (his character is both comical and truly frightening) so it´s safe to say that this is a pretty original and surrealistic flick. It´s gory, there some very gory and violent kills in this and most of it happens on screen which should please the gorehounds. I think that it´s all practical make-up fx and it looks good, actually it looks freaking great!! In the T & A department there is noticeable topless nudity courtesy of Tiffany Shepis (always sexy) as Candice.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Synapse Films
Rating: 5½ out of 7. Even though it´s entertaining and there are several good moments in Home Sick I do find it a bit confusing (or perhaps I was a little bit too tired while watching it). Bill Moseley is great as always, he´s incredibly creepy as "Mr Suitcase". And special praise to the make-up fx artists, the gore is fantastic in Home Sick!


Wednesday 25 July 2012

DVD review: Samurai Cop (1989)

The Katana Gang is out of control in Los Angeles. They´re involved in everything from gambling and extortion to drugs. They´ve bullied their way to the top of the underworld through their unmatched brutality. The police are stymied in their efforts to take the Japanese mob down. The Yakuza´s code of silence is unbreakable and the police can´t bring any charges againt them. So they´ve brought in an expert, Joe Marshal (Matt Hannon), nicknamed "The Samurai", is an expert in Japanese culture and martial arts and if it takes a blood drenched street brawl to bring the mobsters to their knees, then Samurai Joe is ready to rumble! Samurai Cop is written and directed by Amir Shervan. It´s a abomination, it is so horrible. The dialogue, the direction, the production values, the acting, the music and editing is bad. it´s all absolutely hilariously bad. The fightchoreography and swordplay is so bad, not worst I´ve seen but yeah it is very bad. This is a roadmap of inept filmmaking. There is some gore, a guy gets his arm cut off, it´s practical fx but it looks very amateurish and I think they used paintballrounds to simulate squibs in a few scenes when people get shot. There is T & A and a couple of sexual situations. We get some brief full frontal nudity but mostly it´s limited to topless nudity and by the way this is one of those movies that the characters still have their underwear on during sex (hey, why use a condom, let´s keep our underwear on = safe sex).
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Guilty Pleasures.

Rating: 0½ out of 7. I was wondering what in god's name am I watching. Samurai Cop is an very inept flick and features some of the most idiotic dialogue I have ever heard...  To give it a higher rating than 0½ would be unfair to other filmmakers out there.  Is it so bad that it´s good? No but if you want to laugh a lot while watching a goofy unintentional parody you should check out Samurai Cop if you can get it for a cheap price ..


Review: Brutal (I)(2012)

First I´d like to thank Michael Patrick Stevens for providing me with a screener. I will not divulge too many details about the plot, at first glance it might look as one of many of the so called torture-porn flicks that came after Hostel but there is much more to it. It begins with Carl (A. Michael Baldwin) finding himself strapped to a chair in the basement of a house... And the owner simply called Brutal (Michael Patrick Stevens) has special plans for him. Brutal is written, produced and directed by Michael Patrick Stevens. Strong performances from the cast, it´s professionally shot and edited and soundtrack is good (it´s composed by Alan Howarth). This film kept me on the edge, and just when I thought I had it figured out it took an unexpected turn... And there is more than one twist in this film and it´s these twists that makes the movie what it is. It´s violent and as the title implies it´s brutal stuff. It´s gory, the make-up fx are very well done. Almost all of it is practical fx but I believe there are one or two moments of CGI rendered fx. Even if some stuff occur off screen I think that gorehounds will enjoy this. No T & A in this.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener supplied by Michael Patrick Stevens,
Rating: 7 out of 7. I love that Brutal has several layers, that there is much more under the surface than expected. It´s dark, and gritty. It´s well made, features good acting and is very brutal. Recommended!!


Tuesday 24 July 2012

DVD review: Spirit Camp (2009)

When a street smart goth girl Nikki (Roxy Vandiver) is forced to attend cheer camp as part of her rehabilitation from a juvenile correction facility, she clashes with the "popular girls" and finds herself embroiled in a bitter rivalry with the bitchy ringleader Rachel (Julin Jean). But when members of the spriti squad start turning up dead, the girls must put aside their differences as they struggle to survive the murderous rage of a crazed psycho-killer lurking among them. Spirit Camp is written and directed by Kerry Beyer. He plays a character in the movie and he is also the cinematographer, editor, sound editor and did the digital effects himself. The acting in Spirit Camp is better than expected,  it´s professionally shot and edited and the soundtrack is good. It´s a pretty routine slasher affair with nice comedic element spliced in but when the film is nearing its end it actually takes a turn and gets nastier and darker... You´ll see what I mean when you see it. There isn´t much gore in this, there is some but I would have liked more blood and guts but that´s just the gorehound in me... The fx are both practical and computer gendered and most of it looks pretty good. There is plenty to report in the T & A department, we get some much appreciated nudity from Katy Rowe and Roxy Vandiver, both are very attractive and aren't shy. I must mention that Julin Jean is also very attractive and sexy but is only shown in bra, bikini and a skimpy cheerleading outfit.
This review is based upon the regin 1 DVD release from Kerosene Films, LLC. I got the Unrated Special Edition.
For more information visit the official website .
Rating: 6½ out of 7. I loved this movie, it manages to be funny, witty and scary at the same time. And to this add beautiful girls in cheerleader outfits, nudity, blood and some gore.. yeah, I wish it would had been a little bit gorier but hey you can´t have it all...  If you are a fan of slasher films you should check out Spirit Camp.


DVD review: Cherry Bomb (2011)

Cherry Bomb (Julin Jean) is a young exotic dancer on a quest for revenge against the the group of men that brutally assaulted her. Seeing no justice coming from within the system, Cherry enlists the help of her estranged older brother and some heavy firepower as the two siblings set out on a reckless revenge mission. Things start to spiral out of control when a mysterious hitman named Bull (Allen Hackley) is hired to put an end to Cherry´s bloody tirade. She soon realizes that there is more at stake than she ever imagined. Cherry Bomb is written by Garret Hargrove and Kyle Day who also is the director. The acting is decent but special praise goes to Julin Jean who is pretty good as Cherry Bomb and Allen Hackley who is quite meancing as the seemingly unstoppable Bull, it actually made me think of The Terminator before he became a wimp in the sequel.. There is plenty of action and even a few twists along the way. The camerawork and editing is good. The soundtrack is good. It´s pretty violent, not to bloody to start with but it does get a bit graphic, it´s a combination of practical make-up fx and computer gendered fx. CGI is also used for muzzleflashes and so on. There is T & A in the movie but no nudity from Julin Jean (guess there is a no nudity clause in her contract, seen two flicks with her now) but she appears in sexy outfits. The rape scene isn´t shown, the aftermath is revelead in flashbacks, and thus it loses some of it´s potential impact/shock effect on the viewer and it lacks that gritty/nasty feeling..
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Well Go USA.
Rating: 5 out of 7. Cherry Bomb is enjoyable from beginning to end despite it having some flaws, I liked it.


DVD review: They Call Me Macho Woman (1991)

Macho Woman! She arms herself with instruments of steel, glinting in the dappled woodland sunlight. Moving with skills derived from the most primitive atavistic survival instincts, she repels the onslaught of countless troops, her arms a blur as she wildly hurls high-tech handmade weapons, demolishing her attackers with unwavering accuracy. Yet she is no Green Beret, trained in the world´s most dangerous war zones to fend for herself - she is Susan Morris (Deborah Sweaney), down to earth, mobile young woman who simply desired to escape the crazy city! Little did she know what was in store for her... While looking for a charming country house, Susan inadvertenly finds herself in the clutches of a Brawny brute, Mongo (Brian Oldfield), and his gang of elitist corporate bullies. Angered by the interruption of their environmentally destructive activities, Mongo´s minions ruthlessly abduct and imprison Susan. That long and somewhat totally wrong text on the backside of the DVD-cover is probably the result of some Troma employees wild fantasy, the description of the storyline that is available at IMDB is much better "A young widow on a trip to the backwoods stumbles upon the operation of a gang of drug smugglers. They attempt to kill her in order to keep their operation a secret, but she turns out to be more resourceful than they thought, and starts to turn the tables on them." They Call Me Macho Woman is written, produced and directed by Patrick G. Donahue. The acting is bad throughout, the camerawork and editing is okay. There is a nice blooper when Susan and the home agent are trying to get away in a car, the cameraman sits in the backseat and all of a sudden his hand appear on screen for a few seconds... It quickly becomes repetetive, as they capture Susan, she escapes, they capture Susan and she escapes again and so on... There are a couple of really dumb scenes and some dialogue that is priceless. There is brief moments of gore, fr instance a guy gets spikes thrown into his eyes. It´s all practical make-up fx. No T & A in this.
This review is based on the region 1 DVD release from Troma and btw the girl on the DVD cover isn´t in the movie. They Call Me Macho Woman is also known as Savage Instinct (which features a much better cover)
Rating: 2½ out of 7. It isn´t good but it´s enjoyable, almost nonstop action and the flick gets better around the 60 minute mark when the Susan finds a tool shed and equips herself with hatchets, a whip and some nine inch nails and turns into a one woman army. But I´m still wondering why the heck does she polishes the blades and spikes until they sparkle in the sunlight...


Monday 23 July 2012

DVD review: Redneck Zombies (1989)

When a clan of hillybilly dirt farmers turn a misplaced barrel  of chemical waste into a whiskey still, going blind is the least of their worries as the moonshine turns them into Redneck Zombies! Now they´re ready to invite a group of wayward yankees to a down-home feast of southern-fried gore and mayhem that will turn your stomach and tickle your funny bone! Redneck Zombies is written and directed by Zoofeet, P. Floyd Piranha, Fester Smellman and is directed by Pericles Lewnes. The acting in Redneck Zombies is bad, really really f*cking bad and I know that it isn´t meant to be good but it´s atrociously bad and goes beyond so bad that its good. There is plenty of comedy in this movie, most of it is politically incorrect but pretty lame humor. The camerawork and editing is for the most part decent. The soundtrack is bad. Zero atmosphere, zero dread or horror but it is not meant to be scary as this is first and foremost a gory comedy.There are two overlong and very boring drugtrip scenes that made me to start comtemplate if I should jump forward to the next chapter on the DVD.
It´s gory, lots of graphic carnage in this and it´s all practical make-up fx. The quality of the fx ranges from good, decent to cheesy. No T & A in this.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Troma.
Rating: 1½ out of 7. Redneck Zombies is cheap and poorly made, the plot and the acting is among the dumbest I've experienced but there are some funny parts in this. A must for any Troma fan!


Rating: out of 7.


Review: The Puppet Monster Massacre (Video 2010)

First I´d like to thank Dustin Mills for providing me with a online screener.
A group of teens are challenged to spend a night in the Wagner mansion on the edge of town. Little do they know the owner (Dr. Wolfgang Wagner) has concocted a monstrosity in the basement and plans to make the hapless teens the creature's first big meal. The Puppet Monster Massacre is written and directed by Dustin Mills. The voice-overs are good, the puppet work is good, it´s nicely shot and edited. It successfully mixes comedy and horror and I found some scenes to be very funny and I was smiling throughout the whole flick. There is plenty of gore, we get decapitations and disembowelments and much more but some of the killings do occur off screen. In the T & A department we get some topless puppet nudity.
This review is a based upon a online screener supplied by the director.
For more information visit the official website .
Rating: 5 out of 7. Funny and entertaining but most probably not for everybody. I´m a sucker for animation, puppets and miniatures so seeing this makes me happy. Definitely worth a watch if you are a fan of  South Park, Team America: World Police and Peter Jackson's Meet The Feebles!


Review: After the Dawn (2012

A survivor of warfare born chemical attack, Cassie Becker (Nicole Kruex) faces a new world of terrible realization. The Human race has suffered terrible recourse in the wake of an attack that never should have been leaving the remaining inhabitants in a state far less then human. It has been six months since to the day in this new world of indescribable destruction and isolated fear. In search of the only person she holds dear Cassie must fight the onslaught of creatures once precious to her in an unstoppable journey to reunite. After the Dawn is written by Nicole Kruex and Mitchel A. Jones who also is the director. It´s hard not to notice the obvious influences from both The Road and 28 Days Later but this is more drama than horror. The acting is pretty good and Nicole Kruex does do a good job. The production values are pretty good, it´s nicely shot and edited but it´s too clean, it´s after the end of the world but the streets are too clean, no debris and so on, the characters clothes are clean they only have some smudge on their faces. The soundtrack is excellent! The pacing is very slow, which isn´t necessarily a bad thing but After the Dawn is very talky. There are some good moments and there are some tense scenes but they are way too few. There is also a ton of flashbacks in the movie, used to explain Cassie Beckers background and motivation, but I find them a bit distracting as they are too many flashbacks and they are also overlong. There is no gore (well there is some blood splattering but that´s it) which is a mistake, and trust me if someone blows his head of with a shotgun it would be MUCH messier than it is in this film. There is no T & A in this..
After the Dawn will be released by Midnight releasing on 9/25.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener supplied by Midnight releasing.
Rating: 2 out of 7. After the Dawn is a bleak post-apocalypse drama with a few sprinkles of horror in it, the production values and acting are good but it´s has a very slow pace and it´s very talky. If there hade been more horror, some gore and perhaps some nudity it would have been better.


Sunday 22 July 2012

DVD review: Frankenstein vs. the creature from blood cove (2005)

A mad scientist is based in a villa near Blood Cove, a remote beach on the coast of California. He has created an amphibian, which is virtually indestructible. The researcher intends to use the monster to fight international terrorism. The monster however escapes and begin to kill photo models that use the beach while taking pictures. The scientist see no alternative but to dig up the Frankenstein's monster and revive it and then the with the monster's help combat the amphibian, which still continues slaughtering photo models. But Frankenstein's monster becomes lovesick... Frankenstein vs. the creature from blood cove is written and directed by William Winckle. The acting is decent, the camerawork and editing is good and the movie is shot in glorius black and white. It´s very  tongue in cheek. Too bad that the fights between Frankenstein and the gill man is so poorly staged and overlong. And couldn´t they find something better than a plastic toyguns that kids use? The monsters have a very cool retro-look and I love that it´s a men in a old school rubber suits, I especially like the design for the aquatic, reptilian humanoid. There is only brief gore in it and  it´s all practical make-up fx. Frankenstein vs. the creature from blood cove certainly delivers in the T & A department, both Selena Silver and Tera Cooley provides gratuitous nudity during three quite lengthy scenes.
This review is based upon the Region All DVD release from Dark Entertainment.
Rating: 6 out of 7. I had a good time with this film. it´s very charming, a very likeable tribute to the black and white B monster flicks of the 1930s through 1950s with some updates in the form of adding gratuitous T & A and some gore. Recommended!


Saturday 21 July 2012

DVd review: Hanger (Video 2009)

Eighteen year ago, nine-months pregnant Rose (Debboe Rochon), a wrong side of the tracks prostitute, was killed when her pimp gave her an abortion with a hanger. Now, the deformed, surviving child (Nathan Dashwood), who was thrwon in the dumpster, left for dead and mockingly called Hanger, is about to settle the score and any street trash, sex degenerate or murderous pimp better beware. Hanger is written by Patrick coble and Ryan Nicholson who also is the director. The acting is decent but Dan Ellis once again outshines the rest of the cast, he´s a great asset to Ryan Nicholson and they´ve collaborated on several movies. The camerawork and editing is pretty good. There is heavy use of character make-up fx, much in the style of the big budget Dick Tracy movie with Warren Beatty. Some of it is used to good effect, for instance the make-up fx design for Dan Ellis is very good and enhances that character, but some are not succesful and one or two is pretty bad. This gives the film a almost cartoonish style and lessens the impact of the extreme/over the top scenes that make up a big part of the movie. Hanger is gory, it´s all practical make-up fx and one of the highlights is the very nasty forced abortion scene of a baby via coat-hanger.There is plenty of nudity in Hanger so fans of T & A are bound to be pleased and Candice Lewald who plays the character Nicole, she also appeared as Lisa in Gutterballs, provides gratuitous T & A and even perform a very graphic masturbation on screen. She very good looking and the little outfit she´s almost wearing is... well you´ll have to see for yourself.
This review is based on the Region All DVD release from Dark Entertainment, it´s a Unrated print of the flick and has both english audion and subtitles.
Rating: 4½ out of 7. I´m a big fan of Ryan Nicholson´s no holds barred approach of filmmaking but Hanger is something of a let down for me. It´s a bit too bizarre and it´s obvious that Ryan Nicholson really tries to do his outmost to be offensive and controversial. If you´re a fan of gore and expoitation you need to check out Hanger as it´s full of nudity, violence and gore but this is definitely not for everybody


Friday 20 July 2012

DVD review: Hunting Season (Video 2000)

When two campers on a peaceful weekend excursion are suddenly confronted, harassed and molested by a pack of heavily armed outdoorsmen, a brutal series of events occurs. A struggle for survival and sanity drives the surviving victim into a bloody vendetta of rage. The hunters soon become the hunted in a malicious game of cat and mouse. Who will utlimately survive the weekend? Hunting Season is written by Sybil Cummins, Tim Sullivan, Ron Ford and directed and edited by Jeff Leroy. Yes that Jeff Leroy, the man who gave us Charlies Death Wish and Rat Scratch Fever and who has become one of my favorite directors. Cindy Pena, one of the two campers and the victim of the rapist, is the only one in the cast that is any good, the others are mostly mediocre performers. The camerawork and editing is pretty good. The pacing is high, within 10 minutes from the beginning of the film the two campers have been attacked, the man gets beaten to a bloody pulp and his wife is subjected to a brutal sexual assault. It´s violent and gory and even manages to throw in a twist. As I mentioned it is gory, vicious jungle traps takes its tool on the hunters, a nice decapitation and several big bloody juicy squibs as people get shot. The make-up fx are all practical and are decent. Somewhat dissapointed that they use plastic toyguns and bb rifles instead of real guns, it looks ridiculous. 
 Hunting Season delievers in the T & A department, we get gratuitous nudity and sex and Cindy Pena is the center of attention. The sexual assault is a bit weird as everyone involved in the rape scene kept their clothes on – the woman had on her underwear; and, the rapists their jeans, jackets, and shirts. And later, during a prolonged flashback sex scene between Cindy Pena and her husband she keeps her panties on throughout their lovemaking.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Razor Digital Entertainment.

Rating: 6½ out of 7. Hunting Season is VERY entertaining, A early flick from independent filmmaker Jeff Leroy and if you like me are willing to accept it's limitations this is a very watchable rape/revenge movie with a leather-clad female vigilante sporting a crossbow...


DVD review: Blood and Sex Nightmare (Video 2008)

Something unholy is stalking the guests of The Pleasure Mountain Adult Retreat. Local legend states that 40 years ago, serial rapist and murderer Felix Gallo hung himself at an abandoned campground in these woods. Today, a sex resort sits on the site, and couples eager to sample a "swinging lifestyle in rustic surroundings" arrive in droves. Everything goes well and business is booming until, one by one, the guests begin to disappear.. and re-appear in bloody little pieces. Is a flesh and blood killer on the loose? Or has Felix´s dormant spirit, disturbed by the sexual energy, come back from the grave to exact his revenge? Welcome to Pleasure Mountain Retreat, where "safe sex" has a very different meaning. Blood and Sex Nightmare is written by Joe Manzione and directed by Joseph R. Kolbek. Made on shoestring budget, $ 3000, it looks surprisingly good. The acting ranges from decent to mediocre. The pacing is good and the flick makes good use of it´s short running time of just 59 minutes. It´s packed with nudity, sleaze, sexual situations and gore. There´s a lot of T & A and gore which can be expected as per the title. Several attractive female cast members (Niki Rubin and Tina Krause) shed their clothes and there is several scenes of full frontal nudity. To bad that we only get to see the very cute Julia Morizawa in her underwear. The movie is gory but could have been even gorier as several of the kills takes place off screen, the practical make-up fx is decent and the make-up fx design for the killer is pretty cool even if a bit cartoonish.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Bloody Earth Films, it´s Unrated.
Rating: 6½ out of 7. This film is clearly inspired by '80's low-budget japanese films such as Entrails of a Virgin (1986) but one of the differences is that here there is no fogging of genitals.  Lots of sex, sleaze and blood! Highly recommended to fans of the expoitation genre. See for yourself!!!


DVD review: Splatter Farm (Video 1987)

Twin brothers Alan and Joseph spend the summer visiting their Aunt Lacey at her secluded, rundown property. Little do they know that some family secrets refuse to stay buried.. In fact, they are freshly dug up!. Lonely auntie has a necrophilic attraction to her deceased husband, whose body she keeps in her house, and Jeremy - her perverted farmhand - is a bloodthirsty monster who dismembers local townsfolk and stores their body parts in the barn for unspeakable uses later on. Soon Alan and Joseph find themselves caught up in a horrifying plot to corrupt, violate, and kill, kill, kill. Unable to get help from the outside, they begin to take charge of the situation. And thats when things really turn ugly. Splatter Farm is written and directed by John Polonia, Mark Polonia and Todd Michael Smith. The acting is really bad and the movie is quite boring and several scenes are just overlong. The camerawork and editing is amateurish but this film was made on a very low budget by amateurs. On the positive side we get a dark nasty and uncompromising tone and couple of scenes that are not for the squemish. It´s gory, some of it looks decent and some of it is pretty bad. It´s all practical make-up fx done on a minimal budget. No T & A in this but there are sexual situations in the form of incest and rape including anal fisting.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Camp Motion Pictures, it´s unrated.

Rating: 1 out of 7. Splatter Farm is a pretty inept production and quite boring but there a few good scenes and a very dark tone that I like.


Thursday 19 July 2012

Review: The Tale of the Voodoo Prostitute (2012)

A master manipulator and hustler by the name of Fleetwood Deville (Charles Buchanan) dispenses heinous wrong-doings to nearly everyone that crosses his path. One particular female managed to meet and exceed any expectation of evil. She cursed Fleetwood to a fate even worse than death: impotence. With his harem of beautiful women and killers, Fleetwood must rival neighboring pimps to free himself from a curse that if left undone would not only take his manhood, but possibly his life. The Tale of the Voodoo Prostitute is written and directed by Chaz Buchanan. The acting is atrocious, the camerawork and editing is decent. The soundtrack is awful. The concept of creating atmosphere or tension or even some form of entertainment seems lost on the filmmakers behalf. This is among the most dreadfully boring pieces of celluloid crap I have ever seen. No gore in this. There is only some brief nudity and considering the topic there is a big shortage of T & A in this.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener provided by Brain Damage Films.
Rating: 0 out of 7. What the heck did I just watch? Very boring, confusing and incoherent... Don´t waste your time or money on this! I can´t find a single redeeming thing to say about The Tale of the Voodoo Prostitute....